Guide to menu items

Booking phone sessions

Examples of difficult situations (domestic, social and work)

How I work with you

The sort of difficulty I can help with

About Mel Myers

How to contact me

Managing Difficult Conversations at Work


FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)

What does the website do?
The website lets people request professional coaching, advice and practical help on how to cope with conversations and interactions that they find difficult.

Who are the phone sessions for?
Any individual who experiences such difficulties in their domestic, social or workplace lives.
Teams (for team building, developing a common language and framework for team development) and managers (for enhancing communications, reducing stress and for facilitating organisational change).

What sort of difficulties do I help with?
Difficulties can include:
  • feeling personally 'got at', bullied, harassed, 'put down', discriminated against
  • feeling angry, frustrated, bewildered, embarrassed, hurt, humiliated or defensive
  • being made to feel as if you're being unreasonable when you know that is not the case
  • feeling that you're having the same conversation/argument over and over again and that it's not getting anywhere
  • feeling that you cannot make yourself heard - however hard you try to get something over to the other person
  • feeling 'talked at', feeling that you're at the other end of a lecture or monologue,
  • feeling that you're not an equal partner in the conversation
  • finding it hard to take or hear what others have to say to you or about you
  • having problems in saying something personal, or something about a delicate or sensitive topic to the other person
  • finding it hard to get the other person to change their mind, to see things as you do or to change their behaviour in the way that you would like
The difficulties can be major, however, most people report incidents and problems that seem to them to be low level individually, but whose cumulative effect can be quite debilitating.

What type of advice do I give?
  • The advice is professional. I am a qualified and skilled psychologist with over twenty years' experience in helping individuals and groups with their difficulties in the area of interpersonal communications [see about Mel Myers for additional information]

  • The advice is individualised. Whilst my advice is based on the same, underlying, principles, it is always tailored to the individual needs that are reflected in the conversations that people describe to me

  • The advice is designed to lead to learning-by-doing. There are a number of linked points here:

    • my experience suggests that, for difficult conversations, we should think in terms of changes in our own behaviour that will make us more able to cope

    • because our present behaviour results from a lifetime of experience, we are unlikely to be able to change it overnight

    • for these reasons, I don't offer 'quick fixes' but , rather, recommend a gradual process in which you try my initial advice out, take note of the outcomes (what you found easy, what seemed to work, what was difficult to do), review the outcomes and agree possible next steps with me

    • the skills and principles that I offer are about conversational process - that is, I show you how to have conversations where both you and the other person will be happy with the process of the conversation - the way it went - whatever the conversation is about, and whatever the outcomes

    • the learning that occurs as a result of this 'plan, do, review' cycle can be generalised so that you can use it in other conversations that you find difficult.

    • TOP

How do I arrange to have over-the-phone sessions?
There are two ways of doing this:

1. Use the 'book phone sessions' option to send a summary of a difficult conversation, to book a time for us to have a phone session and to choose whether you will pay for the first session online or over the phone (if you find that you would like to have further sessions, we can organise these either at the end of the first session or in a brief follow-up phone call).
After I have gone over your summary, I will let you know (by email) if I feel that I can be helpful to you and I will confirm the time and date for the first phone session. If I don't feel that I can help, your session fee will be refunded.

2. Use the 'book phone sessions' option just to book a time for us to have a phone session and to choose whether you will pay for the sessions online or over the phone. In this option, you don't have to send me a written summary of your difficult conversation; instead, you can tell me about it during our phone session. In this case, I won't be able to tell you whether I can be helpful to you or not in advance of our first session. If I feel that I can't be helpful, your fee will be refunded.

If you would like to discuss your difficult conversations with me, before booking a session, do please feel free to contact me at any time.

What is the fee for a session?
The fee per session is currently (April 2010) GBP 60.00 (GBP 70.50 including VAT).

When you complete the 'Booking phone sessions' option you can opt to pay either over the internet (via the secure pages of WorldPay) or by phone when the payment will be transacted manually using WorldPay's secure facilities.

How many sessions will I need?
Itís difficult to give precise numbers here because these differ with each person. Sometimes people get what they need from one or two sessions but, in general, most people need between six to twelve sessions.

With regard to their frequency, the typical pattern of sessions is that the first two or three sessions tend to be more closely spaced (once a week or, sometimes, twice a week) so that I can give fairly immediate guidance and support in the early stages when people are gaining familiarity with the approach and when there are more likely to be uncertainties and questions. As people gain confidence and fluency with the approach, the sessions become less frequent at, say, three or four week intervals after which people either stop the sessions or contact me as and when they feel the need to do so.

You can have as many or as few sessions as you wish, and you can discontinue the sessions at any time.